Hello my bitches and ho’s (you know I mean that affectionately) and anyway it’s hip hop speak so acceptable. Today we’re here, not to look at gender, which I’ve done to death these last few weeks, today we’re looking at another destructive force in the realm of gaming and one that is often overlooked, yes my homies it’s time to look at racism and racial stereotyping in your favourite pastime that's fo’ shizzle.

Separatism Makes Us Stronger... not...
I recently read an interesting series of posts by someone who wanted to start a website only for gamers of African decent, because he felt that other websites did this for the other downtrodden sector of the games industry, that of women. Whilst the gent had a point, I couldn’t help but feel it was demolished by this pulling back from ‘the masses’ only to cocoon themselves from the very industry they want a voice in. On speaking to our very own Thumb Bandits site owner I realised the ethos here is inclusivity and without sounding pretentious, feel Thumb Bandits is going about this the right way. If we were a ‘female only’ site, filtering out the guys who wished to mix with female gamers, what use would that be? The same with this guy, what’s the point of an exclusive community when your lead argument is you feel “black developers are kept out of the limelight”, well won’t that be more so when you all revert to participating in the all black community, leaving those mixed communities you feel you don’t have a voice in? Not to mention cutting others out, the way you feel cut out yourself?

As smart guy Rich Leader points out in his blog on this subject “The true meaning of colorblind and genderless (within gaming) is that everyone is considered potentially white and male by default; that is not equality or diversity, by any stretch of the imagination”. Rich seems to be onto something here that we can’t ignore, but it can’t purely be aimed at the games industry since Hollywood and other big money industries are just as guilty, if not more so as they still won’t swim in the same pool as Dorothy Dandridge. It is a disgrace.

Only white dudes game ...
Gamers themselves are guilty of surprise at the ‘shocking’ realization a fellow online gamer is black or of ethnic origin, God forbid anyone other than middle class white boys pick up a joypad. Black and ethnic gamers appear to have the same complaint as female gamers and it comes down to invisibility or lack of positive representation in games. How often have you been given the opportunity to choose a black character in a game? Add to this how often have you been able to choose a black character that isn’t a gang banger, thug, criminal etc. I’m not going to harp on at the GTA titles since they take racial stereotyping to the extreme, it’s pointless but it needs to be registered when gamers are playing these titles that this is the case, it's all a bit sad isn't it.

Pop a cap in my ass ...
Let me end by saying this, not ALL ‘white’ people are racist, even if we are made to feel so by default at times. My use of the term ‘Homie’ and other ‘gangsta speak’ will be taken as such by someone, despite this being nothing more than a silly dig at the racism prevalent in our society. I for one have had a gutful of the way this planet is going, we’re all brothers and sisters and it is eyes and not our skin that make this not the case, because we judge upon seeing another being and this goes BOTH ways my sistaz and brovaz. As gaming continues to f_ck over the female gamer with a lack of sustainable lead characters, don’t forget to think about the lack of black, latino, arab, asian characters available. If you’re a black latino woman you might as well kiss your own ass as find a playable games character unless it’s a game that allows genetic characterization (skin color, hair styles, features etc), or a secondary hooker or victim. Add to this the problem of ‘gangbanger’ mentality brought forth by certain members of the black community and it must be even more frustrating! When ‘Fiddy’ releases his upcoming videogame he’ll be popping caps in peoples asses, because that’s a great representation of the black man… give me a break.

Fragging in a Sari ...
Addendum: Oooh big word, not done one of these before. I wanted to add this from one of our readers, one ‘Alvin’, who kindly wrote about my rantings and had some very valid points regarding race. When I read this email it was strange because I’d already decided on the subject for this next gamerlogue, so for that reason alone it deserves mention for Alvins Jedi mind tricks had surely worked a treat. Alvin states “I also have a lot of resentment to various areas of the gaming industry, positive ethnic role models being few and far between” and “I mean when was the last time someone got their ass kicked by someone in a sari? If we could get gamers to realise that there are other things out there other than themselves”. This is just the sort of thing I’m trying to get at here, though obviously Alvin was far more succinct than I could ever hope to be. Face it, this particular gamerlogue could go on for months, it’s such a huge area. As always send in your thoughts and we’ll get them out there (the remains of Alvins msg will appear in the mailbag).

Editor Note: There is a positive black role model in the game fahrenheit which Thumb Bandits reviewed HERE. It's a start!

Breasts are a big thing …
Especially if your name is Lady Lara Croft, a woman who whilst screaming “look at me I’m every girl gamers feminist dream” may actually be whispering “I’m here for titillation, to get you hard.. oh baby control me”.
Many an academic paper has been written on Ms Croft, she’s an icon, not only in gaming but in cross over media, print, film, TV and Merchandising. She may very well be the most recognized games character in the world aside from a short, fat, fairly unattractive plumber with a huuuuuuge…. nose, hmm that seems fair, female icon the perceived perfect woman, male icon the perceived perfect man? Anyway this aside there are arguments that rage on as to just whose ‘side’ Lara is on, what team does she play for and when will her reign end? Why does it matter?

Worship at Crofts Alter …
Lara I bow down to thee! One of the very few games where the boys suffer the ‘I HAVE to play as a female character’ syndrome, she rocks! She kicks ass and takes numbers, she is amazing, she’s Indiana Jones on oestrogen and she’s made by men for men… f_ckit, I knew there'd be a catch. Oh who cares, at least the prehistoric ‘girl trips on twig, starts crying, calls for man to rush back and help her’ complex doesn’t exist with her. At least she’s not spreading those beautiful legs for anything other than a cool handstand to dismount, sure boys control her, but so do girls… or does she control us? Hmm, I’m stumped, but happy in the knowledge another Lara Croft adventure is just around the corner, she beckons to me, that sultry voice cooing ‘Come…come… come play with me’.

Burn the witch at the stake!
Some feminists despise Lara Croft, she is essentially the root of all evil and adds to the pressure that women already feel toward their bodies due to the media constantly bombarding them with the elusive body, the perfect body, the body of 18 years olds talking to them between their favourite TV shows about anti cellulite creams and wrinkle fixer uppers (do 18 year olds even have wrinkles?!). Lara Croft is the perfect woman, she’s fit, independent and strong, all the while maintaining every feminine quality imaginable, she’s a Lady, she’s curvaceous, she’s sexy and she’s so hyper-sexualised she leaves other women laying in the dust. But she’s not real, she’s a fiction, even in her real world forms she’s still a fiction played by models and ‘the sexiest woman in the world’, this is why some feminists believe Lara Croft is the root of all evil and to some degree they are of course correct, but Lara is a tiny pebble thrown into a sea of female betterment that is beyond possible, nip, tuck, suck, diet, run, jump, f_ck, exfoliate yourself bitch, fit the mould or die trying.

I’ve become all ‘Jaded’ …
I just read an interview with Toby Guard, he’s the guy who originally conceptualised Lara. He stated that the Lara in TR Legend (the newest title in the franchise) was ‘changed to look more realistic’, I’m not even going to start in on this sentence because I know you, the discerning and clever reader know what I’m thinking of the bespectacled Mr Guard for making such a silly sweeping comment. It’s Jades fault you know, her from Ubisofts sleeper hit 'Beyond Good and Evil', she has a lot to teach, she’s not a 34 Double D, she doesn’t have an ass that’s hugged by skin tight accoutrements, no long flowing locks, sure she’s skinny.. whoopee, we’re all dreaming if we think games designers are going to start making Rueben-esq lady game characters, Jade is about as ‘normal’ as we’re ever likely to see, not that we should settle exactly, but this particular character holds a wealth of cognizance that male game designers should wallow in and soak up. We’d all be better for it and maybe one day we'll see this female character 'normality' enter into gaming a ltitle more, don't worry, Lara will always be with us, Mr Guard suggested there'll be more in the series. She's a capitalist whore and her pimps are hard at work vying for our gaming greenback. This is deeper than that, this is about not falling into the same pot of Tits and Ass gaming Lara lives in, this is about scope and the knoweldge that female gamers don't always need to feel they have noone representing them in a playable capacity that represents normalcy on some level... So first we'll concentrate on getting more playable female characters, then we'll concentrate on changing them? How about developers make them the right way first, save us all a little time and money huh?

Ok I’m just going to say it, there are a couple of ‘famous’ (well as famous as any female gaming groups can be!) girl gamer clans that I’m sure you’ve probably all heard of, one is PMS Clan and the other is FragDolls. But here’s the thing, do these boothbabe styled girl gamer groups hurt women gamers or aid them? This is one of the questions some far more tactful person than I at TB was going to put to both groups via a questionnaire, but as they have apparently snubbed the polite request, I, Ann Thropic will draw my own conclusions based on the evidence at hand and say to them this – if you have PR make sure they reply, that is what PR is for!

It ain't heavy it's my gamer ...
PMS, scourge of women everywhere, not only for the cramps, shooting pains, heavy flow of blood from your innards but also for the overall ideology that women make sh_t up, that PMS is somehow psychosomatic and by being such can therefore become the butt of jokes for many a man who has never suffered such physical pain since his large drinking binge set off by the e-coli flavoured curry that seemed like a good idea at the time! Couple this with hormones that are doing what they like for the days leading up to Aunt Flows visit and you’re in for mood swings and a woman who should truly be avoided. So this seems like the perfect name for a female gaming clan PMS – Pre Menstrual Stress, bitchy line used by many to suggest a woman is “acting out”, or “on the rag”. PMS my readers is three letters to belittle womanhood and everything it stands for. PMS should stand for Profanity Men Shout at ‘her indoors’ as she drops a glass and cries for no apparent reason, but should it be used for a girl gaming clan? Well perhaps they are to be avoided any time of the month, perhaps they’ll kick your unsuspecting male ass, maybe that’s the message, albeit blurred.

Barbie Sucks Ass! ...
FragDolls… Dolls.. interesting. Dolls, those mini ladies girls play with whilst still too young to realise the social conditioning machine at work, Dolls with babies, Dolls that are babies, Dolls with cookers, irons and more! Dolls.. in a Valley… all of whom know life is about a man, having a child and the respect that brings… Jacqueline Susann would be proud… Run Jennifer North, run while you can!!! *ahem* ….But there are other types of dolls.. those of the VooDoo kind, perhaps these are the dolls the fragdolls are named after because surely naming a strong girl group after a bunch of socially restrictive childrens toys isn’t a great idea and certainly doesn’t promote girl power in any way? Perhaps it’s ironic? Perhaps I’m missing the pointy point of it…. watch your hair Ann, guard your hairbrush, just in case it is the VooDoo type! I checked out the Dolls in some photos, with their lower than low hipsters and their perky little chests, the advertising machine at work, promoting these kick ass ladies in an all male gazed way, such a shame.

So what’s the take, what’s the score, what the hell is going on in the world when we seem to be so restricted to type? Periods and Dollies, two parts of every woman but far from a whole. Do I respect these groups who seem to be shuttled around the gaming circuit like lambs to the slaughter? Hmm tough call, I admire their gaming prowess, I’m not sure I admire the packaging. But let’s face it people, it’s all about the packaging, right? Depth of meaning matters little if you can find a skinny white girl with hipsters, straight teeth and a joypad to pose for photos before her next game of Counter Strike. Say CHEESE!

Words girls never hear, why?.. other than the obvious gender specifics of it? Because we can't do things when we're women that we did when children and have a ready made and fondly spoken excuse waiting in the wings to bail us out, ladies, we're just not that lucky, guys, you've got it made, you can be boys when you're 50 and it's okay because everyone knows 'boys will be boys'.

Parental control ...
My mother doesn't understand my fondness of gaming and I've come to the conclusion she never will, my father too gives me quizzical looks and a sort of sad smile if he happens to be with me on a Friday, the day in the UK when new games come out and I'm in town, heading for the game store with excitement. My brother is older than me and a gamer, but that's okay, he's a guy and 'boys will be boys', he spends three wage cheques on a huge projection TV for gaming and 'boys will be boys' and 'it looks so nice in his flat'. I mention wanting a plasma for my Xbox and it's the end of the world as we know it 'honey you don't really need one do you?'... yes mum.. I DO, I REALLY need one.

Dicks are better off ...
My brother Richard (oh yes now you see why the risque subheading) tells me to ignore it, that's easy for him to say, he doesn't heed his own advice when I thrash him at Halo 2.. but I gleefully digress. I do ignore it to a point, I have to, if I didn't my head would implode, or something just as graphically gruesome, but deep down it irks me that because I'm a female gamer I'm at a social disadvantage, looked on in disdain for the same hobby as my male counterparts, this my dear readers pisses me off.

Pissed but not in the tripping over kind of way ...
I don't drink, I don't party, I don't smoke, my fun you see lay in gaming. My wages, as well as paying my mortgage, car, staple items and savings are... yes of course, spent on gaming; but my good citizen skills mean nothing when I'm an affluent female gamer, or should that be effluent? The putrid effluence of the lack of understanding I gain for my hobby that Dick has not suffered? The non understanding of a girls need to frag, the, dare I say it... antipathy of 'mature' women and indeed some men towards my hobby!

Alas 'Girls will be Girls' does not exist for 'girls shall be women' and there is no turning back... get your aprons on ladies and shop for shoes because step out of that box society has made for you and you're in a world of hurt. Husbands who berate wives for not understanding their gaming expenditure do not fret for it is YOU who are lucky and your wife cannot help this, she has been conditioned and few of us escape. Now if only Richard would marry an apron wearing shoe shopper, maybe this entire situation wouldn't seem quite so bad after all.

These are two things squealed at me as I made the eternal error and chose the 'find game' option on Xbox Live one night, so I thought it rather relevant to include them here. These were obviously meant in an affectionate manner along with the plethora of other slurs aimed in my direction due to the crime of being a girl in the gaming universe. My driving was also called into question along with my sexual preference and of course my physical appearance.

Listen bitches ...
I couldn't care less for your appearance, I don't want to know if you're straight, gay or something inbetween, I don't care if you're male, female or something inbetween, Black, White, Red, or Blue. All I care about is the game and if you bright sparks look up 'game' in a little thing called a dictionary (it has a dic so should be of interest) you get "An activity providing entertainment or amusement", I assume that should go for EVERYone involved, not just these wuckfits who like to make other peoples lives hell until they need to exit the game.

The games industry has a lot to answer for, but it cannot be blamed outright for these behaviours, seemingly inherent in a small group of males on Xbox Live with the apparent inability to interact with the female of the species. You can't have it both ways, if you want girls and women to enjoy gaming don't treat them like crap on the odd occasion you get to speak to them and if they beat you, don't get defensive and start bitching and blaming some external reason for the loss. Just like in the real world true women like gentlemen, sure the odd few like the lads but you're not going to bump into these girls on Xbox Live.

Spit or Swallow ...
Pride is a strange demon and it can make you do all manner of things in all arenas of life, but try and leave it well away from your Xbox. Don't choose to spit out nasty comments one after another because some girl just owned you in front of your mates. Be a man, suck it up and swallow and you'll gain the respect of the other players, including the female ones. I know I choose to add the gents I bump into on Live to my friends list, I certainly don't add the buttholes.